I Want an Oliphaunt (Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Movie Review(sort of.))
By Akbor Bzaias
Yesterday, the Young Maverick tagged me along to see the latest installment of LOTR. We bought tickets, grabbed some burgers and then went on to bask at celluloid perfection.
Well, the movie was ALMOST perfect. As usual, there were several distractions and annoyances that kept me from enjoying the movie to the full extent of my movie-enjoying-capability-module.
First, I spilled some mayonnaise in my shirt. Second, there's an ugly bitch behind me who's always kicking my seat. Then, there was this LOTR retard fanboy who keeps yelling retard fanboy phrases like "RUN FRODO, RUN!","NO MERCY!" and a bunch of incoherent, undecipherable retard fanboy mumbling. Thankfully, the guards shoved him inside the fire exit. To be whacked later by nightsticks, I suppose. Gee, I hope they whack the living fuck out of that guy. That'll teach him. Plus, some guy behind me mistook Liv Tyler for Natalie Portman.
Wow, labo.
And to top it all off: an assload of coughing, sneezing, chip bag opening, cellphone ringing and message alerts. Most of the message alerts were "Special" and not "Standard". As many of you "Gen-txters" know, "Special" is more annoying than "Standard". Noisy asshats. What part of the sentence "PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CELLPHONES" do they not get?
OOH, ESPESYAL ANG MESSAGE ALERT TONE KO! ESPESYAL AKO! TINGNAN NINYO AKO!, Idiots!
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